Feelings vs Knowledge

Have you ever felt so all alone that you thought that if you disappeared from the face of the earth no one would notice and no one would care? I have. Alot here lately. And it has led to horrible depths of depression that I know are associated with the pits of hell. How can I feel so completely alone even when I'm in a crowd? What's worse is when I'm at home and I feel totally isolated and that no one really gives a rip. But KNOWLEDGE tells me that I am not alone. My God is with me...He said He would never leave me or forsake me...even when my friends do. I KNOW that if I disappeared, it would be noticed. Probably mostly by my precious son. He's even told me lately that he was worried about me not being around, that he was going to lose me and that he couldn't imagine living without me. That was a wakeup call to me. My son...he's the most precious gift from God and I KNOW that God has a calling and purpose for his life. The enemy has been trying to destroy me, partly to try to destroy my son. I can't let that happen. So I am fighting and standing my ground against the enemy. Some days, yes, I feel as if I am fighting completely alone with no backup, no one is standing with me, but its okay...I'm standing because of my son. This past Sunday nite, he was baptized in water because HE wanted to be. And I'm so proud of him. He tells me he is anxious to know what it is that God is calling him to do...he can't wait. And yes, he is a bit goofy and was bobbing up and down in the water. But it wasn't because he was being disrespectful or trying to be funny, he said he wanted to see the people and that was the only way he could see over the ledge! And then he felt really bad when he thought that maybe he had been perceived as being disrespectful. I love his tender heart. Here's a pic of the 3 of us right before the service and then a picture of Matthew with Pastor Darren after being baptized.