Its that time of year....

The last few days....I have felt that mood of depression set in....and I've been fighting it, but it seems that no matter what happens with anyone, it hits me all wrong and I tend to push people away. Alot of it, I think, has to do with this time of year....the anniversary of my mom's death. Its so hard to believe that it's been 12 years already...how can that be possible. I was very close to my mom and after she was gone, it felt like I no longer had any family....I am not really close to anyone else in my family, we don't talk, we don't visit, it feels there is no one. She was the glue that kept us all together. So, anyway....I love you, mom, and I miss you. I find myself crying for no reason...but this happens every year at this time. So if anyone is reading this and wonders why I've been moody lol....this is why. Sometimes I feel all alone, even though I am not...I know that, but my heart and my head do not know that sometimes. I'll be ok...I'm a tough cookie. Just tired of being the strong one sometimes. And yeh...the tears are here.